American Politics and a Tribute to Linda Bowles - August 28th 2008

Kathleen Parker writes in a special commentary at the Patriot Post, putting the description of the Senator Obama phenomenon into perspective …

… It is thus no surprise that the young are enamored of Obama. He’s a rock star. A telegenic, ultra-bright redeemer fluent in the planetary language of a cosmic generation. The force is with him. But underpinning that popularity is something that transcends mere policy or politics. It is hunger, and that hunger is clearly spiritual. Human beings seem to have a yearning for the transcendent—hence thousands of years of religion—but we have lately shied away from traditional approaches and old gods.
Thus, in post-Judeo-Christian America, the sports club is the new church. Global warming is the new religion. Vegetarianism is the new sacrament. Hooking up, the new prayer. Talk therapy, the new witnessing. Tattooing and piercing, the new sacred symbols and rituals. And apparently, Barack Obama is the new messiah.
Whatever the Church of Obama promises, we should not mistake this movement for a renaissance of reason.

See the article entitled The Devil is in the Details: A Look at Obama’s Health Care Plan by Duane Lester at All American Blogger.

Your Canine Companion May Have a Conscious

Roger Highfield is a Science Editor New Science and writer for Telegraph, UK and he writes an interesting article concerning dogs, one of the favorite companions of humans, next to cats, and describes a new study that allegedly reveals that your dog, and its ancestors, have been in close contact with humans over so many decades and centuries that they may have developed a conscious – knowing right from wrong. Roger Highfield writes in his article, Dogs Have a Sense of Right and Wrong …

Light Side of Lighthouse: Friend of LPJ Describes the Wonderful World of Chain Email

Sandy G., Wisconsin sent an email that pretty much describes the type of email we face in our in box daily …

I just want to thank all of you for your educational email over the past year. Thanks to you –
I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.
I can’t use the remote in a hotel room because I don’t know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
I can’t sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.
Eating a Little Debbie sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans-fats I have consumed over the years.
I can’t touch any woman’s purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because now I have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258^th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special email program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s novena has granted me every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m pumping gas.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put ‘Under God” on their cans.
I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
And thanks for letting me know I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face – disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go shopping in malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t support troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
Thanks to you, I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
And thanks for the great advice – I can’t pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can’t buy gas from certain gas companies.
If you don’t send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy lump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician.
Have a wonderful day.
Oh, by the way …
A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their email with their hand on the mouse. Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late.

Myth Blaster: Latest “Discovery” of Sasquatch “Evidence” a Fraud

This is an update to the Myth Blaster article: Has Evidence Been Found Concerning the Legendary Sasquatch and a recent article released by AP by writer Juanita Cousins via Newsvine …

The truth prevails and after examination of the alleged corpse of “Bigfoot” claimed by two law enforcement personnel who were perpetrators of another hoax based upon the legend of Sasquatch.

Juanita writes:

Turns out Bigfoot was just a rubber suit. Two researchers on a quest to prove the existence of Bigfoot say that the carcass encased in a block of ice — handed over to them for an undisclosed sum by two men who claimed to have found it — was slowly thawed out, and discovered to be a rubber gorilla outfit.

Steve Kulls is a research director for Squatch Detective organization and host of the radio show of the same name. He is the one, along with Tom Biscardi, who revealed the hoax and the phony Sasquatch body.

Of course the hoax duo, Whitton and Dryer were unavailable for comment or interview. Clayton Police Chief Jeff Turner stated that Whitton would be fired (papers being processed) because of this embarrassment to the local law enforcement establishment, violating rules of integrity. It was a case of simple fraud and an act unbecoming to a person within the law enforcement establishment. Juanita Cousins quoted Mr. Turner as stating:

“Once he perpetrated a fraud, that goes into his credibility and integrity,” Turner said. “He has violated the duty of a police officer.”

And that is the end of yet another hoax concerning the legendary Sasquatch. Whether the mythical tales of this legend was ever based on any truth, it is less likely to be found as people who seem to get off on putting one over on the populace, or at least trying to, continues these hoaxes.

This Myth Blaster investigation is closed and identified as a hoax.

From My Desk: The Absurdity of Some People

Once in a while a conservative, after much frustration will spew out words of angered thoughts against those who perform that action daily.

It is kind of like the person living in a glass house and throwing stones at his neighbor’s stone house, when it comes to progressive-socialist-liberal rhetoric and propaganda. It is hypocrisy with a capital “H”.

An example is presented at the American Conservative Daily, in which a source actually blames Rush Limbaugh for some maniac shooting up a place of religious gathering – a church. It was a Unitarian place of worship, and  a form of Christianity.

Historical Figure: Margaret Tobin-Brown

I enjoy singling out interesting people in history and then research, and write about them, to include sites and sources where readers can read more about them. ‘Historic figures’ is a category here where you can read about interesting people in history – not just about Americans and not just about historical males.

John, Margaret Brown and children - Molly Brown Museum

This entry is about a woman who became quite known in her day, and can even be recognized by today’s generation because of an actress that portrayed her in the classic epic film entitled Titanic. You may then know why they dubbed her back toward the end of the Victorian age as the “Unsinkable” Molly Brown. Her story speaks of family destitution, and because of an opportunity that rewarded benefits, Margaret Brown became a well-known activist at a time when women had few liberties that had been guaranteed in the United States Constitution, but failed to see that their female counterparts in life were under that umbrella of guaranteed rights and freedoms. It was a time when women came from the shelter and drudgery of just being homemakers to educated persons who voted, participated in community affairs and made careers of their own. Career women at the time were mostly single women, and those that were successful had to breach the imaginary, but real, wall of the established concerns of politics and the world of business and enterprise. Margaret Brown was one of the early advocates for this cause, but also was known for her support in helping families that suffered destitution for whatever reason – never forgetting her roots and what had destined her parents to come to America to find a new life.

Myth Blaster: “Eleven Year Old Shoots Home Intruders”

When are people going to learn about “revelations” and “true” stories passed around on the email chain-mail circuit?

There are enough true stories concerning citizens protecting themselves, their property, loved ones and homes without making something up. It is also a made up story that reflects the person who put it together as a bias person against Mexicans, illegal or not.

Science Snippets - August 21st 2008

• Dr. Richard Harrington, vice president of the United Kingdom’s Royal Entomological Society, bought a fossil via e-Bay from an individual in Lithuania. It was an insect embedded into what appears to be a large drop of tree resin, which is the only way an insect from any Earth historical age can be preserved and purchased it for only £20. The picture of it is at BBC News, who covered the story [Paleontology, Entomology]:

Guest Writer: “Putin’s War in the Caucasus” by Tom Carew

Tom Carew, Guest Writer, Dublin, Ireland …

While I am readily tempted by the idea that “any stigma is good enough with which to beat any dogma,” especially the dogma of tribalist nationalism, the notion that South Ossetia with all of 1505 sq miles, and a population now about 70,000, must nonetheless be ranked as another independent nation, is absurd. Further the CIA World Fact Book (pre-war) estimate of 220-240,000 internally-displaced people in inner Georgia who have fled from the 2 dissident regions, opens the question of tribal terror and ethnic cleansing either directly by, or at least under, the South Ossetian and Abhkazian regimes.

American Political Scene: Responsible Voting

David Limbaugh, syndicated columnist of Townhall writes Relentless Race Narrative concerning racial overtones that have entered the presidential election process of 2008 …

Sadly, there isn’t the slightest chance liberals will forgo the race narrative in this presidential race because painting the other side as racist is essential to their need to feel morally superior. They can’t accept Obama’s candidacy as evidence of progress toward racial equality. They can’t permit the advancement of colorblindness because they sense it is detrimental both to their political interests and their self-esteem. After all, if liberals lost their self-anointment as moral paragons, they’d have nothing left because their policy agenda has the track record of an Edsel, with the exception that it won’t ever be taken off the market. A mainstream media favorite, MSNBC’s Howard Fineman, in a piece criticizing McCain for allegedly painting Barack Obama as less American and patriotic than McCain, couldn’t help but throw in a pointed reference to race. …

Nature’s Pharmacy

PJay M., California sends an interesting insight of things we see daily, but don’t really see [originator unknown] …

A friend sent this to me …

A sliced carrot looks like a human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye – and, yes, science shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and aid in the function of the eyes.

Myth Blaster: Has Evidence Been Found Concerning the Legendary Sasquatch?

Photo Bucket image

The following story is a questionable revelation concerning a long-time legend – possible even before Europeans set forth on the North American continent to settle in a land that comprised an estimated “500 nations” of Native American tribes. While it is not truly a paranormal story, I have listed this as such – along with the fact that it IS part of weird science – if it is found to be truth, and not the usual hoax using folklore as background. Bigfoot, known in Native American lore (called First Nation people in Canada and northern states of America) as Sasquatch by those living in America’s northwest, supposedly has been found in a Georgia swamp, according to a news release dated August 16^th 2008 [KTVU] …

How to Save Government Money by Joan B., Illinois

Joan B., Illinois submits a nonpartisan reasoning not to vote for Senator Obama …

The President’s pension currently is $191,300 per year, until he is 80 years old. Assuming the next president lives to age 80.  Sen. McCain would receive ZERO pension as he would reach 80 at the end of two terms as president. Sen. Obama would be retired for 26 years after two terms and would receive $4,973,800 in pension money. Therefore it would certainly make more economic sense to elect McCain in November.
How’s that for non partisan thinking?

From the Obama File - August 14th 2008

From the LPJ Obama File …

• Michael J. Boskin writes in his article, Obamamonics is a Recipe for Recession …

What if I told you that a prominent global political figure in recent months has proposed: abrogating key features of his government’s contracts with energy companies; unilaterally renegotiating his country’s international economic treaties; dramatically raising marginal tax rates on the “rich” to levels not seen in his country in three decades (which would make them among the highest in the world); and changing his country’s social insurance system into explicit welfare by severing the link between taxes and benefits?
The first name that came to mind would probably not be Barack Obama, possibly our nation’s next president. Yet despite his obvious general intelligence, and uplifting and motivational eloquence, Sen. Obama reveals this startling economic illiteracy in his policy proposals and economic pronouncements. From the property rights and rule of (contract) law foundations of a successful market economy to the specifics of tax, spending, energy, regulatory and trade policy, if the proposals espoused by candidate Obama ever became law, the American economy would suffer a serious setback.

Light Side of Lighthouse: It’s All in Perspective

A man feared his wife, Peg, wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.
The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
“Here’s what you do”, said the doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking diner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.” Then in a normal tone, he asks, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
No response.
So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet away from his wife and repeats, “Peg, what’s for dinner?”
Still no response.
Next, he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Again, he gets no response.
So he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away – “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Again, there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her, and asks “Peg, what’s for dinner?”
“Frank, for the FIFTH DAMN TIME – CHICKEN!” - she replies.

Submitted by Verna, Pet Expressions, Wisconsin.

Editor’s Random Thought: The picture at the head of this article depicts why it is men that usually go deaf.

Myth Blaster: Words Left Out of FDR Speech on WW2 Memorial

National Park Service photo

Diane S., Wisconsin requested Myth Blaster to check on an email circulating around that the World War II Memorial in Washington, DC has an inscription of FDR’s Day of Infamy speech with the word “God” left out because the original contained it.

The email states that the inscription reads:

PEARL HARBOR
December 7, 1941, A DATE WHICH WILL LIVE IN INFAMY … NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY TAKE US TO OVERCOME THIS PREMEDITATED INVASION, THE AMERICAN PEOPLE, IN THEIR RIGHTEOUS MIGHT, WILL WIN THROUGH TO ABSOLUTE VICTORY.

The email claims the speech ended with the words “so help us God” and that the politically correct police, like the ACLU, caused the words to be left out.

SITREP America - August 12th 2008

From the blogging pages of Newsvine, I present to you Cranky Old Man, an American who served in the military and while serving obtained a degree in political science, describes how it seems that the general public is ignorant of why fuel at the pump is so high (and other misinformation) because of belief in what the mainstream media presents …

Does it really hurt to voice your opinion even if it offends someone else? … I don’t like the offering of either party in our Presidential elections. They all suck. … I don’t like someone telling me that I shouldn’t drive my truck. This happened today. This woman came over at the gas pump and told me that my truck was the reason we have high fuel prices. I told her to stuff it up her ass. …my truck had nothing to do with the high prices and that our dear politicians and their screwed up foreign policy had much more to do with it. … A DPS officer was filling up his car next to me and about lost it. When the lady left, he asked for my autograph. …

Bibliotheca: “The Forsaken: Of the Depression-Era Americans Who Ventured to Russia” by Tim Tzouliadis

Painting by Ian F. Walter

Tim Tzouliadis was born in Athens and raised in England. A graduate of Oxford, he also pursued a career as a documentary filmmaker and television journalist whose work has appeared on NBC and National Geographic television programming.

The book’s background is set in the year 1934, when the United States, and indeed the world, was struggling through what has become known as the Great Depression; where people became desperate and delusioned with the economic situation and looked more for a scapegoat rather than a solution to the problem.

“Arbitrary Imprisonment, Torture and Foreign Vacations: Are War Crime Trials Possible for Bush Officials?” by Ken Renner

One of the things that I have most consistently admired about you, Keith, is that you have stood against the illegal and inhumane treatment of people in our custody during the Afghan and Iraqi wars.

You have been courageously correct in not joining the chorus of conservatives who have tried to minimize or deny the reality of what has occurred during these conflicts by comparing it to fraternity hazing or the like. The fact is that treatment that the U.S. and other civilized nations have long defined and prosecuted as war crimes under the Geneva Conventions were reviewed and approved at the highest levels of the American government in recent years. More than a handful of top administration officials could possibly face war crimes trials in the future if they are bold enough to travel outside the United States after leaving office.[i]

“Change? To What?” submitted by Donald E. Farr

Remember the election in 2006?

1) Consumer confidence stood at 2-1/2 year high;

2) Regular gasoline sold for $2.19 a gallon;

3) Unemployment rate was 4.5%

Since voting in a Democratic Congress in 2006 we have seen:

1) Consumer confidence plummet;

2) Cost of regular gasoline soar to over $4.10 per gallon;

3) Unemployment is up to 5%;

4) American households have seen $2.3 trillion in equity value evaporate (stock and mutual fund losses);

5) Americans have seen their home equity drop by $1.2 trillion dollars;

6) 1% of American homes are in foreclosure;

7) Food prices skyrocketing over 30% in one year.

America voted for “change” in 2006 – and we got it!

Remember – it’s Congress that makes law – not the President.

Quote of the Day: “My friends, we live in the greatest nation in the history of the world. I hope you’ll join with me as we try to change it.” – Barack Obama

Light Side of Lighthouse: “Installing a Husband”

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled and many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems but to no avail.
Signed, Desperate

Tech Support’s answer:

Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind: Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command ithoughtyouloveme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 2.5, or Beer 6.1. Please not that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, do not under any circumstance install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend:
Cooking 3.0
Hot Lingerie 7.7
Good luck, Tech Support

As an added advice to Tech Support I would suggest that Desperation utilize GirlsNightOut.01.1 once per week or twice per month, whichever is appropriate and realize that while Husband 1.0 and Wife 1.0 are complimenting programs, sometimes it’s good to have their own space and hang out with their friends.

Thanks to Diane S., Wisconsin for submitting this entry for Light Side of Lighthouse.

Guest Writer: "Both Parties Are Failing us on Energy Prices" by Ken Renner

Only vampires are killed with silver bullets. There is no silver bullet that will kill the devastating effect of high oil prices on our economy.

Random Thought in the Early Morning Hours

Here is what the White House administration, this one or the next should do in regards to the question of prisoners of war in the declared war against Islamic fascism …

As in a recent arrest and extradition of an Afghan women al-Qaeda suspect, we should start doing that and use Guantanamo only for a temporary holding area awaiting trial.

Aafia Siddiqui - Pakistan former US student arrested - BBC News

Since the world international justice systems seem to deem terrorists as not part of an armed element we are at war against – let’s try them for what they are: murdering, barbaric thugs. Our system under the US Constitution should be used, complete with providing them the statement upon arrest that they are required by law to be represented by legal counsel and that anything they say will be held against them. However, before this process begins, the US judicial system in conjunction with international justice systems of various nations must agree that the death penalty, if found guilty, be administered in a timely manner (no holding prisoners for sentence for 20 years), an agreed time limit of nor more than one year – to allow for appeals.

Iron Pony: T-Rex, 3-Wheeled Motorcycle

Campagna T-Rex

T-Rex has been the short name for tyrannosaurus rex[i], a species of dinosaur that existed during the Cretaceous Period, approximately 60 to 65 million years ago. The dinosaur became famous when the Jurassic Park film series was released by Stephen Spielberg, original story written by Michael Crichton.

However, the modern name belongs to a custom chopper and a motorcycle trike (Campagna T-Rex) with the safety features of an automobile. It was also a British rock band.

Megalodon - King of the Sea

The extinct T-Rex and the Raptor (Jurassic Park film series based on the science fiction novel by Michael Crichton whose book The Andromeda Strain was also produced in film) are scary predators of an era of ancient Earth history gone by, and today an alligator, crocodile and the Great White (not the rock band) and other reef sharks are pretty scary as well. But the all time predator that had the largest mouth with the nastiest bite would have to go to the ancient shark called the megalodon, a whale-eating ancestor of the modern shark.
The image at left depicts the jaw opening of the grandfather of all sharks.

Iron Pony: Victory Motorcycles, American-Made

Victory motorcycles rolled off the assembly line for the first time in 1998 by a subsidiary of Polaris Industries and have showed a modest profit since 2002 in competition with another American-made motorcycle still in production – Harley Davidson. Polaris is a well-known trademark name for those owning ATVs, snowmobiles, and personal watercraft (sometimes called Jet Skids).

The first model was the V92C, debuted at Planet Hollywood in the Mall of America by Al Unser in 1997. It was a 92 cubic inches (1,500 cc), V-Twin engine in competition of the famous Harley engine with its unique idling sound and other popular factors. It also was when competition among motorcycle manufacturers began building bigger engines. Victory components were manufactured in Minnesota and Iowa[i]. It featured a five-speed transmission, which later would become six speeds, with a single overhead cam, dual connecting rods, hydraulic lifters and fuel injection components produced by GM[ii], and the engine holds five quarts of oil in the sump. Harley Davidson carries its oil in tanks, giving it a more streamline look than the Victory. Top speed is about 120 mph at 5500 rpm and its volume of oil (compared to most automobiles) reduces its chances in racing competition, according to the Wikipedia entry. [See Bibliography[iii]] The ECM (engine computer) has a rev limiter which can be changed or overridden by reprogramming the EPROM. It has an air-cooled engine and circulates oil from the crankcase through a cooler that is mounted between the front downtubes and the drive belt can be changed by removing a section of the rear swingarm or the rear wheel.

Congress and Senator B. Obama: Energy, Taxation and Spending

Failed energy policies is why we are paying so much at the gasoline stations, the major problem … Senator Obama agrees:

…merely prolong the failed energy policies we have seen from Washington for 30 years.

So why did Senator Obama vote against or not vote on offshore drilling, ANWR and other legislation that would solve this serious problem?

For 30 years our government refused to allow the building of the required refineries as the vehicle population increased, prohibited using American crude oil at sites like the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR), and also refused to allow the upgrade of existing refineries already in place – along with other reasons like the natural disaster of Hurricane Katrina – which is ALL President GW Bush’s fault, according to the Bush Haters, condemning things unfairly about Bush while ignoring the real transgressions he has blundered through during his two terms of office.

US Democratic Party: Throwing Stones While Living in a House of Glass

Edwards Family No. 1

In the news, one can read consistently the update on the Karl Rove affair. John Edwards, a person who holds a seat in Congress because voters vote populist instead of logically, committed (as he has done in the past) unethical actions – a mistress and a “love child” while his wife battles for her life with cancer – Where are the feminist rights people here? Then there is New York Governor Eliot Spitzer …

Ann Coulter writes back in March 12^th 2008 – Whoreable Behavior…

This is a disaster for Hillary Clinton. According to the wiretaps, New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer was delighted to be getting the prostitute “Kristen” again. At least he knew her name. It took Monica Lewinsky’s boyfriend six sexual encounters to remember her name …
You know that queasy feeling you get thinking about Bill Clinton back in the White House again? Now you remember why. Hillary Clinton couldn’t feel worse about the Spitzer case if she were an actual New Yorker. …

Light Side of Lighthouse: "Then the Fight Started"

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive, so, I took her to a gas station - and then the fight started…

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.
The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too’ - And then the fight started…

Light Side of Lighthouse: An "ID Ten T" Error

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, ‘So, what was wrong?  He replied, ‘It was an ID ten T error.’
I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, ‘An, ID ten T error? What’s that? In case I need to fix it again.’
Eric grinned…. ‘Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?’
‘No,’ I replied.
‘Write it down,’ he said, ‘and I think you’ll figure it out.’
So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T …
I used to like Eric.

Submitted by Verna, Wisconsin.